Rejecting Passive

When I look back at my life, I want to know that I took an active role in building my dreams and achieving my destiny. But, I recently came to the realization that I’ve become passive over the years, complacent. Allowing things to happen around me, and then reacting. Waiting for something to change, and then embracing or resisting it.

Life is too short for passive and it’s high time that I shake myself out of this fog.

Why? Because passive sucks. Because passive is not specifically defining my wants and needs, but still hoping that they get met. And maybe even being frustrated when they aren’t.

Passive is dreaming of change, but then not having the courage or the energy or the patience to make them actually happen.

Passive is waiting for someone else to make the tough calls or to cross the line or to make me ready for monumental shifts – none of which are going to happen. And if they do, it won’t be in a way that I expected, it won’t be on my terms.

I don’t want to wait for that guy to approach me. I don’t want to wait for a better job to come along. I don’t want to hope for something better.

This is the time to own what it is I want in my life. Right now.

Active is difficult, scary, risky, and backbreaking. But imagine the payoff when you start that company you’ve always dreamed of, enroll in that dance class you’ve been eyeing for years, find the hutzpah to ask that cutie for his number…because even if he says no, even if the class sucks, even if that company crumbles, you took charge and defined yourself as an active participant in this crazy game of life.

You learn. You adjust. You grow. And you TRY AGAIN, even when it hurts more than you ever imagined. Even when you think you can’t take one more rejection. Because what if the next idea, the next date, the next blog post is the one that shatters all of your expectations and launches you into a future you never could have imagined?

Passive just isn’t good enough. It isn’t loud enough. It isn’t YOU enough.

What have you been waiting for? What have you been secretly hoping to change in that darkest, scariest, most secret part of your heart? What would an active, empowered response look like for you?

What if you said, “This is what I need in order to be happy” and then don’t apologize for asking for it?

What if you leapt without that net? What if you dug deeper than you thought you possibly could? What if you let go of that habit or that person who has been holding you back?

Let’s dance in the rain, and twirl in the sunshine. Let’s do something that scares us at least once a day. Let’s have child-like wonder at the mysteries that are unraveling, while we roll around in the pain and the discomfort, knowing it’s making us stronger and wiser.

I am becoming me each moment of each day that I take charge. Won’t you join me?

Fuck Perfection

“Perfect is beige.” ~ Kris Carr

Ah, perfection: the plague of adventure, the disease of happiness, the obstacle of authenticity.

Perfection is an excuse, it’s boring, and it’s a crutch. Let’s throw out our notions and stop the insanity because perfection means no growth, no sticky edges. Perfection means no change and no unexpected opportunities.

Perfection is void of unexpected delight and spontaneous joy because it keeps us in our head and focused on things that don’t move us up and out.

Rather than perfection, let’s try for experience. Authentic experience is messy and mistake-ridden, but it’s beautiful and poetic. And so very, very scary.

A life of vivacious color and cacophonous joy takes imperfection and mistakes and failures. An unleashed woman is willing to face her fears and take a leap of faith.

So, instead of holding tightly to a false sense of control, why not surrender beautifully into the arms of fate? Instead of fighting to stay inside the lines (that were mostly likely drawn by someone else’s expectations), why not jump into the swirling mystery so that you can create you own story in a way that’s never been done before?

Let us stand up and scream, “Fuck perfection!” Rip off the gloves, toss the dishes in the sink, wrap your hair in a ponytail, and find something extraordinary to do with this moment. Write or paint or sign-up for a class on glass blowing or dance naked in your living room with the curtains open or book a spontaneous weekend away by yourself.

Just do something that gets your heart pumping. Don’t over think it. Don’t doubt yourself.

Trust, decide, and leap. Regardless of the outcome, the fact that you had the courage to try makes you even more incredible than you already are.

ToniVC / Nature Photos / CC BY-NC-ND